Thursday, September 11, 2008

Just because i said " can i throw away the bottle?"

we quarrelled...

you said i'm selfish...

all i wanted was simple...

then when i became unhappy...

you said i'm giving you arrogant high up attitude and that u don't deserve it...

I didn't say anything more...

then you got angry...

of all people...

you should understand...

maybe its too much to ask of you...

to understand how painful, how alone can it get...

when i'm hospitalised...

you weren't there...

you didn't know how many asthma attacks i had...

how the pain was unbearable...

so unbearable that i squirmed and rolled on the bed...

i could neither sit nor eat...

i cried...

when i got home...

you're out on outfield...

couldn't blame you...

stupid SAF's fault...

but do you understand the pain i'm going thru?

i couldn't sleep...

i couldn't eat...

I'm scared.

I'm alone.

i puked blood...

i fainted...

no one knows...

didn't tell u coz i didn't want u to worry...

do you understand all the mixed feelings i'm feeling?

all the pain, sorrow, uneasiness, loneliness, frightened, worrying, dizziness...

You said breakup so easily...

seems like i'm only your toy...

for you to play...

for your pleasure...

nothing of the romantic sort...

Maybe i should learn to take my heart back bit by bit...

Maybe i shouldn't trust u that much...

since you didn't trust me either...

Maybe i should just disappear...

from everyone...

from everywhere, from this world...

Seems like nobody can truly tolerate each other...

I'm all battered and torn...

both physically and mentally...

in the past i've had people coming to my blog calling me insane bitch, crazy, stupid, depressive slut, shameless bitch, whore...

what else is there to come?

I've had enough...

yeah...

i'm crazy...

yeah...

i'm a depressive bitch...

whatever you wanna call me...

Words can kill...

I tried killing myself coz of what my dad said and because of stress once...

I went crazy once cause of my family and maki...

During that period i couldn't recall anything...

i lived in denial, rejected everyone who came near me, screamed hysterically, banged my head against the wall or the table, couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, i just kept crying and laughing, cry myself to sleep then wake up and cry again, i stared into blank space...

haha...

yeah...

i'm demented...

Back off.

Yeah...

I'm nuts...

yeah...

i'm always unwanted...

i should distance myself away from everybody...

yeah...

i'm redundant...

i should just die off...

no one will bother anyway...

you can say i'm selfish or whatever you want...

Heck~!

My life is Trash~!

I'm unwanted trash...

I belong to the bin...

Forget it.

Forget me.

Forget everything...

I should learn never to fall so deeply in love ever again...

or should i say...

NEVER FALL IN LOVE AGAIN...

End.

Period.

Fullstop.

_~.:: <3 †Misha- <3 Alex ::.~_
>> titledat 8:40:00 pm__


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